Life and Serious Shit. 14


Life has been exhausting and so draining in the last, what, five days? I don’t even know what day of the week it is to be honest with you. 

My mother-in-law was admitted to the ICU since last Thursday and her back surgery was (obviously) cancelled because of her state. She started slipping hard and then all of a sudden on Sunday morning, pretty much just after I got back from my overnight visit at the farm, we got a call from Jeff’s dad informing us that she was declining and fast and that we needed to come up north immediately.

Dane love

The calm before the storm

Long story short, she was moved to a beautiful hospice on Monday and removed from all monitors except being medicated for her pain management so that she’s comfortable and doesn’t suffer any. Her oxygen saturation levels dipped dangerously low, and her heart was  beating irregularly in tachycardia, with bouts of apnea.  The saddest was that she had to be restrained because she was on a high pressure oxygen mask that resembled a jet fighter mask and she was none to happy about that and trying to rip it off her face.  

With no numbers or monitors to further fixate on, we now don’t know what her oxygen sat is at, nor how her heart is, but it does not matter at this point. This place is just a nicer, homey place for her to transition than dying in an ICU room. 

She is slowly slipping away on us and if you ask me, she is already gone, it’s just her body fighting to not let go at this point. 

She was always a strong, stubborn and independent lady and even thick in the throes of her passing, she is still fighting it. And it’s so friggin sad seeing her like this. Seeing her husband sob about losing his best friend, his constant for the last 45 years. Seeing my husband break down, it just tears you apart.  It’s heart breaking; we just all wish this was over so she can finally, truly rest.   It’s time…. 

Jeff and I finally went home last night after having been in the same clothes for three days, not having showered and just knackered with exhaustion and grief. Naturally, the second we got in the door, we got a call from hospice saying she was slipping further, her skin mottling, her hands and feet getting cold and breathing that is present near death…. but when I called back two hours later, didn’t the woman make a come back and her respirations increased, her apnea lessened… You see what I mean when I say that this woman is a friggin fighter, even til the bitter end?! Its insane.

So that’s my week. We’re back up today, Jeff driving up ahead of me and grabbing his aunt along the way, and me coming up in my mother’s car about an hour and a half behind him, because I had worked remotely this morning trying to contain some ‘fires’ and shit at work. 

Work has been unbelievably supportive for both of us and we’re so grateful for my aunt helping out with the dogs during this crazy stressful time. 

And this hospice, I can’t say enough good things about this place. The staff, the care and the hospitality, it’s really really nice. 

Hospice

The view from my mother-in-law’s window at hospice


So how are you? Tell me, because anything is distracting and welcoming at this point. 

I also wanted to take the time to thank everyone that’s been messaging me or sending supportive thoughts and messages. It has been much appreciated and comforting to us all.  Thank you.

I will share my overnight visit farm photos from last weekend next week after this weekend’s pet sitting weekend, I will just include those with my recap. 

xox

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  • I’ve been wondering how things are going. I’m sending lots of love and prayers to all of you. I can’t even imagine how hard this is for everyone.

    I’m afraid I don’t have anything exciting to report on for an interesting distraction. Work has been stressful, Mina is the best. I’m planning a vacation. Oh! And my niece and I went out to a Colombian restaurant with some of my coworkers to tell them about Colombia (they’re going this summer) and my niece’s entree came with a soup (we didn’t know that until it arrived at the table) that had a chicken foot in it! That was exciting and memorable.

  • Oh, Lins. There is nothing I can say at the moment to bring you comfort. Sending you all the love and positivity from afar. My dad was so heartbroken when my stepmother passed from cancer, and they had been together 15 years. I can’t imagine being together 45 years and experiencing this cruel part of life. My love to your father-in-law. And, of course, to Jeff.
    Me…what am I doing. I had a stomach bug earlier in the week, and today I am feeling much better. Hooray for that!

  • I’m thinking of you <3

  • Hey hun,

    I read your comment last night and thanks eh, I appreciate it. 🙂 Work for me lately has been stressful but it has been getting better lately too.. I went home for about 13 hours and the dogs, oh my gosh the love. It was so nice to have their comfort.

    My MIL passed away peacefully this morning and she is finally free from this awful disease. Thanks so much for all the love, support and prayers, Crystal.

    Xo

  • Thanks so much love… I really appreciate the support and kindness.

    She finally passed away peacefully this morning and the suffering is over. It’s such a sad time but it is also a relief….

    xoxox

  • Everyone’s comments, messages, emails and support, it’s really be lovely and uplifting during such a shitty time.
    It just sucks that we all just can’t live forever you know….
    Xoxoxo
    I’m glad you’re feeling better love. Stomach bugs are nasty.

  • I saw your post on Instagram that she passed. I’m glad she’ll no longer be feeling pain or suffering, but I’m so sorry to all the people who are missing her. <3

  • oh I am so sorry to hear she has gone, I saw your insta post. She sounded like such a strong, beautiful women. Sending love your way xx

  • I am so very sorry! Thinking of you and sending hugs and love! xxx

  • Lindsay, I’m so sorry to just be getting here now, and sorry to read that your mum in law has passed. I am glad she is no longer suffering, but am sad for her husband, Jeff, and all who loved her, and all whose lives she touched. Hugs and all good thoughts to you all.

  • Thanks so much Stephanie. <3

  • Thanks love. That’s the good thing, she isn’t suffering greatly anymore. <3

  • Thanks so much love. It’s a blessing she passed away peacefully, she was suffering so much. Thanks for all your kind words and support. <3

  • It is very sad but it’s comforting to know she isn’t suffering any longer. She’ll be greatly missed.. thanks so much hun, I appreciate the kind words and thoughts. Xo