I should’ve posted this a few weeks back when I initially wrote it, but then I didn’t and I thought better of it at the time. Now I’ve just decided f*ck it, just post it, Lindsay. So here’s something from a couple of weeks ago when I was in such a mood, I needed to vent bad!
I’m upset and overwhelmed and frustrated and angry.
Why is my body screaming out and failing on me?
Why am I the person that constantly gets shit on or dumped on?
Why do I take on so much?
Why don’t I ask for (more) help?
Why can’t I just take a deep breath and let it all go? Just let shit roll off my back…
I’m so fucking tired of coming home and doing the same bullshit day in and day out?
I’m fucking tired. And I’m physically in pain and tired of this crap. My right leg is jacked. Actually, the entire right side is jacked and radiating. I believe I’ve got a pinched nerve in my leg or it’s the sciatica nerve. Everything got worse on Thursday afternoon and I’m fucking miserable. I just want to run away and hide for a day. [<—-Update: L1-L3 strain issues because my hips out of alignment, which was pinching the femoral nerve, which explains the numbing/tingly and electrical feelings I’ve been having. So, no GRIT classes, no explosive movements, no squats, no lunges, no lower body anything EXCEPT for spinning… for 14 days. Uuughhh. And I can do upper body and core, of course. But my left shoulderis protesting this shit too…. *sad face*]
I’m so much better than this complaining little twit over here.
I think I need to go back to the days where I stopped stressing about all of the components of what makes a good blog post and to just write, and feel god dammit.
I’m going to try an honest attempt at Nano Poblano for the month of November (it is a variation of NaNoWriMo (national novel writing month)) and post something on the daily. I can already predict it’s not going to last but I’ll make a valiant effort to do so. To read up more on Nano Poblano, head on over to Shree’s blog.
I’m feeling slightly better now that I’ve got some shit off my chest. Sometimes I just need to vent and let it all out. I don’t really have someone I can let it all out to at home other than two that matter the most. There’s Jeff and then there’s my mom. I inevitably take shit out on Jeff and it’s so unfair to him and he’s such a trooper for putting up with me. I just wish sometimes I had a best girlfriend in the flesh, someone I know who’d have my back and never judge me for feeling down. And it would nice to have a hug from time to time.
NanoPoblano Peeps this month are:
Ra @ Rarasaur
Julie @ Bug Bytes
Bill @ Bill Friday
Elsie @ Ramblings of a writer
Jessie @ Behind the Willows
Anita Shree @ Heartsongs blog
Sarina @ Shining Seeds Blog
Lori @ LoriStory Blog
Kasturika @ Musings of an eccentric mind
Lorna @ Gin & Lemonade Blog
Angie @ The Muses Words
Varuna @ Vanilla With Sprinkles
Ghost @ Teleportingweena
Sibelius Russell @ Consolations Many Form Blog
Sarah @ Mother of Serendipity
Juliette Kings @ Vampire Maman
Lindsay @ The Flynnigans Blog
Emily @ Zombie Flamingos Blog
Carolyn R Owens @ Infinity Coaching Leadership Blog
Kitty Litterbox @ Litterbox Riot Blog
Erica @ The Broken Spine Blog
Erica @ The Ink Slinger Blog
Charlene @ The Illusion Of Controlled Chaos Blog
Sahara @ I Didn’t Just Wake Up This Morning With A Craving Blog
Briton @ Punk Rock Papa Blog
Kim @ Drunk On Life Blog
David Ellis @ TooFullToWrite Blog
Tooks @ mrtookles (insta-blog)
Kate @ Will Wally Wonder
Varad @ Loose End of the Red Thread
The Don @ Blended in the Middle Blog
Palak @ Expressions Blog
Victoria @ The Loneliness of the Stay-at-Home-Mother Blog
Namratha @ NamySaysSo Blog
Ka Malana @ Fiestaestrellas!
Edward @ Edward Fagan Blog
Robert @ Fresh Off the Pad Poetry
Lizzie Ward @ Cats and Chocolate Blog
Jesska @ Not Throwing Stones
Quixie @ Quixie’s Mind Palace
Heather @ tUrtlettE Blog
Sarah @ TZBlog
Matt @ The Matticus Kingdom
Cyn @ That Cynking Feeling